Last night I am reading my comments as well as the comments on Mary’s post about preaching atheism on de-Conversion (not used to the name yet). Without me noticing her presence, my wife starts reading over my shoulder.
I had told her about me writing a blog, and she knows I participate in some message boards about sports. But I hadn’t really told her I was writing as much as I have. And that it had turned to be more specific about atheism and included some Jehovah’s Witness information that I don’t agree with.
My wife isn’t much into computers, she can work her way around google and youtube and type a letter in word, but other than that she avoids them. She was initially more concerned I was chatting with women. Once that was resoved she read some of my posts.
Then we talked. And we talked some more.
She asked some questions, like why we don’t talk about some issues, like the blood issue I wrote about earlier this week or the post I wrote about when I was younger and decided I didn’t believe in God. And I told her the truth. My wife is an emotionally driven person. If she is upset she will argue. If she is happy she is radiant. If she is sad she will cry. Even in a mild disagreement she will raise her voice. Imagine in a topic she is passionate about. I don’t need these types of arguments, when I can have them peacefully on the internet. I even showed her Mary’s topic above, which is what she caught me reading anyway, and my comment about her on that topic, that she could never be swayed and I know that and am fine with it.
But she wouldn’t let me off that easy. She wanted to know why I thought she couldn’t be swayed. I told her it’s simple. I could show her some evidence and she would still believe. So we briefly discussed some Bible issues that we haven’t talked about in years. We also briefly touched on parts of my wife’s life that stay with her today. I am not going to do into detail, as I probably already reveal more than she would like me to on here. Let’s just say she didn’t have the best childhood, and luckily both her and her family worked their way out of it. And they will all credit religion and Jehovah’s Witnesses for helping them along the way. Obviously I will say it was their own resolve, but I will never win that disagreement. Her blunt bottom line is there has to be something else, because life sucks too much for this to be all there is. I have to admit she makes me want to wish she was right.
Did I mention I Love This Woman?