I have been working on this topic for a couple of weeks, but a post by The Spanish Inquisitor about Indoctrination jump started me to finish this post.
One of the biggest arguments my wife and I have ever had was about blood transfusions. As previously mentioned, my wife had gotten out of The Truth when we were first together. By the time she was pregnant with our second child she was once again involved in her religion. I was still new to JW’s and what they believed, and one day she made a passing statement that if anything happened in delivery that she couldn’t have a blood transfusion. This was the first time I had heard this and it was baffling to me. She brought home some literature for me to read about it, and it is still as baffling to me today as it was then.
The Bible verses they claim support this belief are Genesis 9:4, Leviticus 17:12-14, Acts 15:20 & 29, and Acts 21:25.
Now, I am not the expert of the Bible that some on a number of blogs I read are. I am not a reformed Christian that read the Bible for a number of years before realizing I didn’t believe it. I read it when I was younger and decided I didn’t believe in it, and rarely picked it up after that, until I met my wife.
First and foremost, I don’t believe the Bible so no matter how many verses she would show me I would disagree. But to me, even if I was a Christian, it seems obvious to me that the verses are talking about different things occuring in a much older and different world.
Gen 9:4 “But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat“–seems to say that you cannot eat meat with blood, or basically eat raw meat.
Lev 17:12-14 “You shall eat the blood of no manner of flesh“–where they get this to mean blood transfusions I have no idea, and while it says flesh, which by itself in our terms today would seem to mean human, the verse before is talking of beast and fowl, which clearly implies (to me anyway) when you hunt you must cook the meat.
Acts 15: 20 & 29; 21:25 ”Abstain from blood“–This is very vague. But two thousand years ago, blood transfusions were not even thought of. Taken into that context with the verses from the OT, it seems to be a reinforcement to not consume animal blood.
From these verses the main point that gets across to me is the consumption of blood. If you go to the Watchtower website they have an absurd article discussing the history of blood transfusions. They probably had a lot of support during the 80’s and 90’s with many news stories of tainted blood with AIDS and hepatitis. And, without belittling the people effected by these tragedies, many lives are saved by blood transfusions every day. The Watchtower Society was also against organ transplants for a number of years, claiming it bordered on cannibalism. Yet, in 1980 they quietly revoked that decision and now even praise it. Some JW’s are coming out against the blood transfusion decision and are trying to get them to change their ways. If you are a JW and you question these issues I highly recommend this site.
This brings me back to the main focus of this post. At the time, I could not convince my wife in a worse case scenario to get a blood transfusion. This was a little worrisome. Even though realistically blood transfusions are rare, one of the more common instances where they are performed is on mothers during a baby’s delivery. Fortunately, we found a doctor who was willing to go a bloodless route if necessary, and it was unneeded anyway. But now there is the next argument. What happens if one of our children ever need a transfusion? Once again, statistically they will probably not need one as a youth, if ever. But as a parent, you always have it in the back of your mind. What if? And the last thing you want is a husband and wife having a throw down argument in the middle of a hospital. After some research I found that until the age of 12, most states will get a court order if needed in such situations to allow hospitals to get blood transfusions. But even before I layed that out, my wife conceded if the situation were to ever happen, she would allow the transfusions until they were baptised in the Truth, and then it would be up to them. Another small victory for me. And because of the non-chalance of this writing, it may seem as if this was an easy win, but this was a large fight with a lot of screaming. By my wife of course, I am a mellow easy going dude 
However this still brings up some issues I may have in the future with my wife and children. The Indoctrination post mentioned above got me thinking about it. Am I doing my children a disservice by not being more proactive in their early religious development? While my wife has conceded some points, my children are still being raised as JW’s even if they have an atheist dad. I haven’t previously had a large problems with it. My wife and her family are very good moral people, and I think The Truth does help them with that to some extent. I always thought I could kind of show my children my beliefs as they got older and could understand more. Yet, the longer this goes the harder that gets.
June 25, 2007 at 12:52 pm
I typically don’t read posts of a religious nature, but when I came across yours, I felt compelled to read.
I don’t have much working knowledge of religions. I was brought up Catholic, but questioned many of their teaching, and never followed through with my confirmation. I consider myself to be spiritual, but not religious. While I would never discount the practices and teaching of a religion or the people who follow them, I do think the blood transfusion rule is absurd.
When I had my daughter, a blood transfusion was the farthest thing from my mind. The labor was normal. The delivery was normal. But after she was born, I had a uterine inversion with the delivery of the afterbirth and nearly bled to death right there in the delivery room. Emergency surgery and 5 blood transfusions later, I was ok. If I hadn’t had one (heck, 5), I would be dead. And I just can’t see why it would be so wrong to have a transfusion to save a life.
There’s my two cents, and its obviously only one sided.. only my point of view. But it saved my life.
June 25, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Sounds like you and your wife need to have a long and frequent discussions about your religions, perhaps with a secular counselor. Often, religions does not affect a marriage until children are born.
Most states won’t allow parents to withhold life-saving treatments from their minor children. But it is always best if both parents are in agreement. I feel for you…you guys need to talk.
And, given that the Bible is just a book, any religion can interpret it as they please. The original Jewish practice based on those passages is to slaughter and butcher animals so that no blood remains, and not to eat blood.
June 25, 2007 at 2:14 pm
PalMD–My wife and I compromise a great deal. I think overall we work great together. By my post it may seem as if we just had these arguments, but this actually occured more than 8 years ago. But, as you say, children change a lot of things. My oldest kids are getting old enough to ask me why I don’t believe. Yet when I respond and give some evidence, because they are still young (8 and 10), they still go with the beliefs taught to them by my wife and her family (I am the only non believer, and a rare non JW in the immediate family). They are now of the age where they will soon start making real decision on what they may believe as adults. And I am having a hard time deciding how much influence I should have.
June 25, 2007 at 2:31 pm
starting today–thank you for your story. My mother was an ER nurse at a large hospital, so I am very familiar with transfusions and I couldn’t agree more. I had no real understanding of my wife’s religion until after we were married. She had left her religion (in order to keep seeing me), and went back to it afterwards. It was a tough learning curve when you consider that I believe most of the Bible is BS.
After our long argument about blood transfusions I had to concede I couldn’t force her to get one. Luckily her Dr. was good about it and set it up for such an emergency. Had she just needed one I am sure the bloodless methods (that JW’s help further along BTW) would have worked. Had she needed 5 like yourself I doubt she would be here.
And I just can’t see why it would be so wrong to have a transfusion to save a life
If you only knew how many times I said that. My main argument was God gave us the knowledge to save a person’s life and yet they (the Watchtower Society) want to refuse it. I even told her the joke about a flood, and a guy is stuck on his roof, as the water rises, a small raft comes by to give him a ride, and the guy says “No, God will find a way to rescue me”, and the same thing happens a couple of more times as the waters rise. And then, after drowning, while in heaven, he asks God why he didn’t save him, and God says “Hey, I sent three boats and you refused.” My wife didn’t see the comparison.
June 25, 2007 at 4:33 pm
I have a number of JW patients, and I always honor their wishes, even though they know I don’t agree with them. I always ask them about cellsavers and epogen. But when it comes to minors, well, it’s another story.
I once had an adult patient who was unconscious and needed a transfusion. The parents wouldn’t sign consent for it (for some reason we needed one back then), even though they KNEW their son wasn’t a witness. I gave it as an emergency measure and left them out of it, and they were ok with it.
June 27, 2007 at 2:33 pm
I won’t comment on the blood transfusion because..it seems you two have worked that out. I was raised nothing when it comes to religion until I was 14. I had to go to a private school which is a whole other story…but it was a Catholic school and I found myself feeling very left out and…empty not having a religion. Though I don’t believe in a lot of what JW’s believe in, I do think that it’s good they were raised with some kind of Religion. I also think it’s good that they have you to offer other opinions. Though you are an athiest, Children don’t understand that and I’m not sure there’s anything wrong with them believeing there is something more then just flesh and blood and dirt when you die. Dare I say, what is wrong with believing in something that may or may not be there? Are you really lying to them if you say there isn’t or is? You don’t know, none of us do, so what’s the harm. The best thing you can do is raise them to be open minded and to understand that people believe in different things and there’s nothing wrong with that.
IMO of course 
July 10, 2007 at 1:36 pm
[...] a proselytizing Pentacostal I would be discussing the idiocy of speaking in tongues rather than the issues of blood transfusions. I think people want to believe and will become part of any belief system that is around them. [...]
October 16, 2007 at 10:27 am
[...] about what I know. A few posts into this decision to write about myself and my wife and I wrote A Blood Problem. This post gets a number of hits every week, I am assuming from someone wondering why JW’s [...]