When I started this blog, I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go with it, and I am still unsure. I have a lot of interests, and I can also rant about a lot of things. When I decided to post my beliefs about religion on my last post I started reading a few blogs on similar topics, and there are a number of excellent blogs that have very good opinions dedicated to the very topic, my two favorite being http://agnosticatheism.wordpress.com/ and http://evolutionspace.wordpress.com/.
After visiting the above blogs and others I noticed a lot of the better ones are topic specific, and I was considering trying to do emulate that. But even though I know a lot about sports I would get bored with that after awhile I think. Plus there are about 500,000 sports blogs out there already. I was also surprised at both the number of evolutionist, atheist, fundamentalist, and various other religion based blogs are out there. And most of the authors of those blogs are much more informed on those particular topics than myself. So for now I have decided to keep doing my rambling random thoughts.
Now, to continue where I left off. So how did an agnostic-atheist ever get married to a Jehovah’s Witness? How are they still married?
First, let me start out by saying Jehovah’s Witnesses get a bad rap. I didn’t know a thing about them before I met my wife, and my mental image of a Jehovah’s Witness before I her was a picture of a Hare Krishna with a tamborine. Which probably came from some sitcom or TV show in the 60’s or 70’s. I thought of it as a true cult ala the recent Heaven’s Gate or something like that. Now, there is definitely some cult characteristics in Jehovah’s Witnesses, but it is nothing like those.
A devout Jehovah’s Witness studies the Bible regularly. Granted, it’s their own version which many biblical scholars question their translation (and as per my previous post, you can probably guess that it doesn’t really matter to me the translation). Jehovah’s Witnesses do not believe in Hell. If you are evil or “wicked” in their terms, then when you die you die. They don’t believe in a heaven per se, they believe that Paradise will happen on earth when Jehovah gets rid of all of the wicked people. And the good people that died in the past will be a part of that resurrection. You can learn more of the basics at their page on wikipedia–http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah%27s_witnesses. All of that being said, I have been to a number of Witness “meetings” with my wife, and in the past I have been to countless other church sermons, including Methodist, Lutheran, Catholic, and Baptist. And while all have their differences, they are all very similar as well. Every group seems to tweak the Bible’s meanings to their liking, and while most devout believers in any of the faiths probably think theirs is the best, or truest, or whatever, really they are all about the same thing. When we die, if you are good and obeyed God’s law, you go to Heaven or Paradise, if you are evil you die or go to Hell.
When my wife and I were first married, we had a few issues over religion. I think when we were dating she thought she would somehow convert me eventually. Keep in mind, she was born into the religion, her mother became a Witness when she was very young. It was all she knew. One thing that does make the Witnesses cultish, is if an entire family is in the Truth (another name for them), and one of the members of the family isn’t doing right, they can get disfellowshipped, or kicked out. It is then encouraged to the rest of the family to not associate themselves with that family member until they change their evil ways. Now, before my wife and I were married we lived together, and her family got her disfellowshipped. When that happened I was actually happy because I didn’t like the pressures they put on her and our relationship. But being cut off from most of her family was bad her and for our relationship, as she had few outside (worldly) friends. After we married, she was allowed back in, and even though we have had our bouts over her religion, in the long run our differences have helped our marriage prosper. She has seen their is an outside world that she never knew about because of her religion and family. And while I will never belong to any religion I have learned a lot about hers and the value that can be taught from it. Truthfully, I think values can be taught no matter whether you are religious or an atheist, but if believing in God or Jehovah can give you values and meaning, then so be it. My wife is one of the finest human beings I have ever met, and while I believe a lot of her values were taught to her by her parents, I am sure being a Witness helped that along.
We rarely argue about religion any more. When we were first together she would often wonder how I could not believe in God. We had many discussions on the Bible and it’s accuracy. She often said that I was taking the easier route. I don’t have to be accountable. And that’s not true. Just because one doesn’t believe in God doesn’t mean you don’t want to do the right things. I actually think it’s better that I am an atheist rather than say a Catholic or Baptist. That would cause much more conflict with a Witness than me actually not believing at all.
The last thing I want to touch on this topic for now is acceptance. For whatever reason atheists are looked down upon in the world. It’s a weird thing. If a group of people are together and you have a Catholic, Muslim, Jew, Baptist, Methodist, and an atheist and the topic of religion is brought up the atheist will be looked down upon by the rest of the group. In a recent internet poll I saw that 90% answered they believed in God. Now that poll isn’t 100% accurate, because I would venture that most atheists would be resistant to volunteering for an internet poll. The owner of the company I work at and many of the workers here often discuss church functions and the like. If I were to suddenly bring up that I am an atheist I would be looked down upon here, so no one knows how I feel, which is fine. I just find it interesting.
May 10, 2007 at 4:06 pm
For someone who doesn’t believe you do enjoy the topic a lot
.
I was reading back thru your posts and I see that you’re not sure you believe in God but definitely not the Bible.
Why is that? Not to say that I believe in it either but sometimes you need to look at things with a different perspective.
So I’ll leave you with this:
Just as Aesop and Hans Christian Andersen wrote of morals in the form of talking animals and red shoes that would never come off..Did it ever occur to you that these men who wrote the Bible took that same approach?
I’m not sure if they understood how life really begins but it’s interesting to note that the story of Adam and Eve is a perfect example of metaphor.
First Adam Appears, then Eve is made from Adam. Almost like a cell splitting into two. That’s how life begins. And where does that cell come from? There’s a million things I’m sure that add to it’s existence but I would assume it starts somewhere.
How exactly do you explain that to the people of that time. It seems stories would make much more sense
http://cwonder.wordpress.com
May 10, 2007 at 7:58 pm
I am one of JW’s and I appreciate your post. I think JW’s and atheists who are not ‘evangelical’ ;p get along with us better than most religious people because JW’s approach their religion in a more rational way than other religions who focus mainly on the emotional aspect of faith.
May 11, 2007 at 7:32 am
cwonder–I do enjoy the topic. I always enjoyed ancient history and studied it a little while I was in college. I have researched more since I have been married to both understand my wife’s viewpoints as well to even “argue” with her. Keep in mind even though I am right
, I rarely win the argument. My problem has always been the Bible, and since every Christian religion uses it as their backbone I will have a hard time following them.
PS Nice blog, so far you are as about as varied as myself!
May 11, 2007 at 7:48 am
matt–while I don’t agree with JW’s, I can appreciate what you do and what you go through, having seen it with my wife numerous times. We came to the rationalization a long time ago that she will never change the way I think and vice versa, so we compromise. Unlike the way she was raised, our children both have the backbone of a religious mother who has them study the Bible, but they will also be able to have an outside life, unlike what whe went through. While that probably isn’t what most JW’s would prefer, I think it works well for us.
May 11, 2007 at 9:17 am
cragar,
Thanks for the links.
I agree that JWs get a bad rap within Christianity. Their interpretation of scripture should be given as much credit as anyone else’s interpretation. One can easily read the N.T. and not automatically assume that it states that Jesus claimed to be God, that Paul taught that he was God, etc. Who gives who the right to say what interpretation is correct anyway?
The reality is, the Bible a book written by humans, translated by humans, and interpreted by humans. To add to the confusion, it’s a collection of books written by several different authors over a few hundred year period and contains many inconsistencies, contradictions, etc. To believe there’s only one proper interpretation is ridiculous.
In my perspective, JWs, Mormons, etc. should be commended for their dedication and their desire to follow their beliefs (even though they’re believing myths
).
aA
May 11, 2007 at 9:20 am
Check your SPAM folder for a comment I just made. It didn’t show up as “awaiting moderation” so I’m not sure if it took. I’ll repost if needed.
May 11, 2007 at 10:07 am
aA–I agree good post and I love your site.
August 15, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Dude…Six here.
You’ll never guess….I was a JW! I actually still am as I was never disfellowshipped. You are absolutely right in your assessments. Witnesses get a bad rap. However, they are cultish in two main ways:
1. They automatically discourage reading any literature that challenges the validity of their teaching. (How can anyone apply any critical thinking to a topic if they are not armed with the OTHER SIDE? And if 1+1 = 2, are you afraid if anyone gives you info challenging it?)
2. Disfellowshipping – I understand the biblical command. STILL misapplied and cultish. The Bible says anyone called a brother that IS a fornicator. My mom was DF’d over 20 years ago and I know for a fact that she hasn’t done any crap since. Yet, because she hasn’t gone through the org’s procedures, family members shunned her for years. That is until my grandparents got old and need financial assistance. Then they moved to FL to be close to her….you know, the Bible says that people who need assistance should see family first. CRAZY!
Also, allegedly everyone that has left still believes. Well, of course…you can’t talk to anyone that doesn’t!
3. Today’s truth is tomorrow’s heresy. See, if the org says it’s the “truth” then you MUST believe it or keep your mouth shut. Loyalty is more important than sincere belief. A person with this mindset can be programmed – plain and simple. Any restrictions, new arrangements are ALWAYS received with great enthusiasm. It’s not realistic…unity does not mean uniformity.
August 16, 2007 at 9:14 am
six, glad you read, and I should have known you were a JW with you knowledge of the Bible when discussing with southks. You just nevered used a term where I would have known you were one for sure.
As you have read, the one main reason my wife still clings to the Truth is she doesn’t want her family to disassociate themselves from her. Her brother left and is kind of the black sheep of the family. My wife went to the convention on July 4 weekend and hasn’t went to a meeting since, so that will show you her current feelings about the organization. I think my wife will always be a theist, I think she just has figured out that the Truth may not be all that she thought it was growing up.
My favorite thing about having a debate with a JW is how they pull out Watchtowers. If you try and use any outside sources they will refer you to their own literature, which of course has the JW bias.
August 16, 2007 at 9:15 am
also six, you may want to check out evanescent’s site on my blogroll. Another former JW who writes a very good blog.